Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
