Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
