um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
