she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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