Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
