Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
