i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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