So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
