Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
