Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
