so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize