Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
