what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
