can we get nightvision for the apartment?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
