Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
