you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he thought i was a dude.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
