"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
