my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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