We need to rekindle our bromance
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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