come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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