waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I party with great urgency now.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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