If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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