He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize