high people should be assigned attendants
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
