Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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