but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
