Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize