You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
