i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Farmville is her only friend.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
