I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
