i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
