I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
