Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
