so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
