AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
