Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
