break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize