You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
