i don't like sucking hair
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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