Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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