How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
