I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
