So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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