it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
