i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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