I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
