There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
