You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
