Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
