ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
