I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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