Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
