He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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