Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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