Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
bring money and cleavage
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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