why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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