Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
