He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I am available for nakedness
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
