i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
