Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
