is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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