we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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