I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize