I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
