Small penises have feelings too.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
