Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize