At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
