Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
