Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
