There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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