we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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