Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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