Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
