I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
